In this episode of Intimacy Play, Mikaela is joined by Lucy Rowett, clinical sexologist and relationship coach who shares her thoughts on why people feel ashamed of their sexuality, what problems religion can bring with respect to sexuality, and how to overcome shame.
Learn more about Lucy:
How and why did Lucy become a sexologist and a certified sex coach?
Lucy had a moment of rediscovery when she decided she wanted to do something that she was passionate about. As a result of growing up in a profoundly religious environment, Lucy felt reluctant to discuss sexual topics. Eventually, she decided that she wanted to explore intimacy, feel better about herself, but also to help others.
The problems religion can bring within sexuality
Most religions promote the belief that any sex that is not heterosexual is a sin. This idea hurts people growing up in profoundly religious environments who feel their sexuality doesn’t fit the religious norms. It may cause anxiety, guilt, and even depression.
Creating a balance between faith and the joys of sex
Lucy believes you can balance faith and personal sexuality as there is a big difference between religion and spirituality. The problem is that religions often condemn sexual practices that don’t match their interpretation of religious norms. However, balancing faith and sexuality requires deconstruction and reconstruction of these beliefs and views.
Get past the shame of trying new sexual experiences with your partner
Lucy knows how complicated it can be when asking your partner about trying new experiences together. That’s why she advises people to try these new ideas by themselves first to see if they like them. Secondly, communicate with your partner and accept that they might refuse. Thirdly, keep it as an open invitation rather than an obligation to do it immediately. Finally, don’t hesitate to get help from a sex coach, therapist, or practitioner.
How does Lucy keep her relationship open, intimate, and exciting?
Keep the relationship playful, flirtatious and compliment each other.
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