“How To Communicate Your Sexual Fantasies” with Andrew Marshall, Writer & Marital Therapist

In this episode of Intimacy Play, Mikaela is joined by Andrew Marshall, Writer, Marital Therapist, and Host of “The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall” podcast.

Learn more about Andrew: 

Communication is the pillar of a relationship 

Many people have different sexual urges and desires from their partners. These differences between what they like and what their partners like can sometimes be a source of conflict or even fear. Andrew believes that by using communication we can get past all the misunderstandings that develop in our lives and have a better relationship with our partner.

The mistakes people make in bed with their partners 

People try hard to become the ideal lover for their partner. We are very focused on the technique of sex and the feedback we receive from our partner. But we have to try to enjoy the sexual experience ourselves and not just focus on pleasing our partner.

Andrew’s communication strategies to apply during sex and how people can use them

First, don’t talk about sex in the bedroom. Secondly, don’t talk about sex after you’ve had a row. Thirdly, take time to talk about sexual desires or scenarios you want to try with your partner. Fourth, concentrate on the positive aspects of sex. When talking about sex, people tend to: fantasize about sex, discover ways of making those fantasies a reality, design a scenario for them to happen, before eventually acting them out.

How can people start to enjoy their bodies?

One of the skills in the book “Have The Sex You Want: A Couple’s Guide To Getting Back The Spark” is making peace with your body. To do this, Andrew advises people to get over the way they view their bodies and enjoy the whole experience of using them. You have to appreciate your body for what it can do, rather than how you believe it looks. 

How to keep your relationship open, exciting, and intimate?

Andrew states that couples have to confront their problems rather than trying to avoid them. It’s crucial to communicate, listen to each other, and negotiate terms for making the relationship work.

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