In this episode of Intimacy Play, Mikaela is joined by Habeeb Akande, sex educator, historian, and author, to talk about the African sexual technique of Kunyaza and how it can be used to close the orgasm gap between men and women.
Learn more about Habeeb:
Understanding the orgasm gap and why it exists
The orgasm gap is a social-cultural phenomenon that refers to the difference between the amount of men and women that experiencing pleasure during sex. Studies show that men experience orgasms 95% of the time, whilst women only experience between 30 – 65% of the time.
Habeeb reveals that the orgasm gap has a direct cause on how people perceive sex, as they focus more on penetration. For women especially, experiencing orgasm from penetrative sex is not enough as they need other stimulus, which can be different for each woman.
The Kunyaza sexual practice and the reason people should try it
Kunyaza is an ancient African, non-penetrative sexual practice to help women experience orgasm and squirting. It’s a widely used technique in central and east Africa that originated in Rwanda, where a man uses his erect penis to stimulate the clitoris of the woman. Kunyaza teaches the male partner to delay his gratification and understand what gives his female partner pleasure.
People should try Kunyaza as it helps women to experience orgasms and female ejaculation more often than from penetrative sex. About 80% of women from Rwanda using this technique reported that they experience both squirting and sexual pleasure.
How to get started with Kunyaza
Habeeb recommends people start with the 5Cs: Communication, Connection, Consideration, Clitoral stimulation, and Concentration. It’s crucial to be present in the moment, relax, and concentrate on pleasure. Stop thinking about the end goal of the act itself, which is an orgasm and squirting.
Habeeb shares how to keep a relationship open, intimate, and exciting
Habeeb shares that apart from experiencing love, intimacy, and pleasure with each other, partners need to have their own separate, individual lives, in which they can express themselves.
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