Tantric Sex: what it is and how to do it

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

In Tantric Sex, reaching orgasm is not the goal. It’s about the journey; that’s where the true enjoyment lies. 

At its core, Tantra is about connecting, understanding how you feel pleasure. It is a practice that involves waking up the body’s senses through total body stimulation and not just focusing on the genital region. The achievement is gradual, but the results can be truly bombastic. It can also radically change the way couples think about sex, and introduces new ways for two bodies to connect. 

So what happens during Tantric Sex?

A typical Tantric session includes subtle realms of sex – slow embraces, gentle caresses, being present within the body, and focusing on the movement of energy between you and your partners’ bodies. If you relax and take things slowly, or ramp up and slow down the action, you can make love for hours, and the enjoyment can just keep building. 

How do you get started:

1. Start with the right mindset and create a safe space

Make sure you have time to enjoy each other’s bodies, without haste and without expectations of reaching orgasm. You should practice Tantric Sex in a space that feels comfortable and sacred, so pick room in your home, make it comfortable – dim the lights, light some incense and put on some relaxing music. Tip: avoid the bed as that can trigger the sleep button in your brain. 

2. Feel your breath and honour the body

Tantra is about moving energy through the body. The 3 pillars of Tantric Sex are based on: breathing, sound and movement.

Breathing : It must be fluid. Thus, it releases emotions and allows the the body to feel better. Take your time, checking in with every part of your body—jaw, shoulders, belly, genitals, buttocks—and breathe to soften any tight areas that you notice.

 Sound : Let yourself be carried away by the sounds of your bodies and your breathing. This practice allows the bodies to synchronize. Background music can be played to help hone in on this sense.

 Movement : Move your bodies in tune, caressing various parts of the body with a focus less on the genital region and more on the connection of the bodies. Explore different parts of each other’s bodies – spend time massaging the neck, chest, stomach, and inner thighs, as well as the arms, face, and ankles.

 3.  Use Tantric massage

Try a variety of touches – firm massage, light like a touch of a feather and delicate caresses. The objective is to increase the body’s receptivity to stimuli, slowly and intensely. In this way, there is a gradual build up, to a peak. Once a peak is reached try pulling back, then building up again. In this instance, orgasm is not considered the peak; the peak is the ecstasy of pleasure until you almost reach orgasm. Being stimulated slowly and through the various senses if done correctly can prolong sex and be maintained for hours.

4.  Prolong penetration as long as possible

When your partner thinks they can’t take it anymore and really need penetration … they can take it a little longer. This is the peak of pleasure that should be maintained as long as possible. Penetration can occur, but as a normal transition from Tantric Sex and not with the aim of ending pleasure.

When they can’t take it and penetration occurs, it must be slow and smooth. The bodies must be in tune and move very calmly, feeling each other’s breath and excitement.

 5Don’t give up

If the first, second or third time does not last for more than 10 minutes, do not give up. “Western” sex usually has an obvious beginning, middle and end, so it is normal that it isn’t easy to prolong pleasure the first few times. Tantric sex takes time to perfect and leads to more and more pleasure.

6. Enjoy!

Be physically and mentally present and enjoy the closeness, touches, and sensations that come with Tantric Sex. The purpose of Tantric Sex is to deepen the love between two people in the physical, emotional, intimate and, in some cases, spiritual aspects. It is done with more openness, presence, delivery and without haste. The many benefits include increased pleasure and added closeness between two partners.

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